Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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