im drinking this country out of the recession.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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