I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
