I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
