I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize