Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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