I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
