we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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