It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
