a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
