whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
