i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
