well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
