i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
