3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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