She's JV to your varsity
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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