piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Fuck appropriateness.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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