so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
