you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
