Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
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