on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
