oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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