sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
