I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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