he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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