Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
