people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
