Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
