You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize