I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this boner is exhausting
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
