he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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