how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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