I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
