why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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