All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
