I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize