there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
