Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
