grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize