Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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