Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
