maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
this will be a night to untag.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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