I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
