I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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