Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
