I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
