I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
