can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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