so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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