I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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