Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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