is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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