i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
