that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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