Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
