Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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