I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
