Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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