Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
