Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
