love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
