At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
