Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize