He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You made out with two different species that night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
