So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
