That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Randomize
