dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
