he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
