But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
