I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We need to rekindle our bromance
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
