cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
