Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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