he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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