her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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