dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
When are your genitals available?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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